Everyone is Gay
by Skylo
Summary: I've decided to get a ton of ships out of my system at once, using a random word generator to inspire pairing ideas. These will only be yaoi. I'm trying to use every male character. There will be cheating, beastiality, shotacon, hilarity, and gender pronoun'd Pokémon. It could be any genre. All outcomes should be considered highly dangerous.
1. Pac-man x MrG&W

Parallel

Mr. Game & Watch didn't often come into contact with his housemates outside of matches. He was 2-dimensional, after all. As much as he tried to understand their reluctance, the lineup had become so diverse that nothing should surprise them. Even so, a tap on the shoulder to get someone's attention was not as well received as he'd hoped. He stayed on the walls, easily following the moulding from one room to the next, unnoticed by the others. The younger smashers drew a kind of crayon environment for him to explore.

The moment Pac-man entered the mansion, G&W knew his lonely days were over. The ghost hunter could step into his plane and stare him down, speaking to him in 8-bit with a strange accent. Flatzoners were intriguing to him. Reminiscent of the past, but blank-slated essentially. The mystery in that kind of universe was, as he described, an adventurer's muse..

Game & Watch was certainly not expecting to be flirted with. Sensations worked differently outside the human plane. Graphics meld, willful magnetism scattering nodes to be repurposed for pleasure. The process is as complicated as it is rewarding. G&W was seduced by his interest, and pulled stronger with every visit. Pac-man recanted an era G&W had thought he'd lost. He gave in after they'd been walking the walls one night, thanks to one awkward-looking but personal goodnight kiss. The onyx 8-bit led them through the crack in the door and across the carpet. They converged under the bed, hidden from each other in shadow. Mr. Game & Watch practically melted away. He felt himself peppered here and there, the forces resisting their forms making his outer pixels crowd toward the center. White-hot energy spilled from one to the other, the place where the two met stirring with excitement. Mere minutes passed before they reached perfect union, sparks and pixels flying until it passed, like the departure of the moon after a solar eclipse. Separated, they settled against the wall. The experience was more powerful than any 3-D organism could grasp. No words justified it.

They laughed, knowing it could never happen again, but glad all the same.


	2. Ganondorf x Fox

Bewitching

Ganondorf had always had power within him. A kind of will that won him allies, not admirers. The reincarnation of an evil being spanning time and space. He was terrifying to most.

But his housemates had forgotten that long ago. He was treated almost as a harmless cow rather than a raging boar.

This incarnation was different, mixed with things foreign and harmless yet somehow...

It made him feel ill. His shadowy magic was adapted to fight mortals, weak, but stubborn creatures he had yet to understand. He could not curse them, yet his influence left it's mark all the same. Slowly, but surely, his power was having an effect on the others. With every battle, his opponents were exposed to more dark energy. The majority were simply friendly to him, as opposed to standoffish, but a few have come to him with..confused feelings. He didn't have the means to understand why.

Until one evening after dinner, when he was stopped abruptly by Fox. He was acting unusually shifty. Fox, being one of longest-standing fighters in their abode, had been doing battle with Ganon since he first arrived for the Melee tournaments. The dark wizard was familiar with him; they were like-minded in many ways.

The pilot's tail lashed to and fro, ears like radars scanning the hallway. Ganondorf had seen this before, but the hint of irritation to his demeanor stayed his tongue.

"Ganon.." the fox started, his eyes suddenly flashing to the other's face.

The Gerudo king relaxed a bit, disarmed by the softness in his voice.

"We've known each other for a while and...I think you should know..."

Ganondorf remained silent, so Fox swallowed and continued.

"I lay awake at night thinking of your strong arms...your strong heart."

The color had already begun to drain from the evil lord's face. Fox's tail started going again, this time joyously waving behind him without care. His eyes were bright, staring up at him admiringly. Ganon squeaked.

"W-why?" he spluttered, flailing uselessly. The reaction was almost outraged, but Fox knew it wasn't sincere. The mammal chittered slightly with affectionate amusement.

"I know you haven't realized it, but you actually make us feel safe."

Ganon almost laughed.

"I doubt that. Truly."

Fox's expression didn't change.

"You trust no one, and you have no idols. Your judgement is always unbiased. This operation would be doomed without fighters like that. We've successfully pulled off the ultimate plan. Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer."

His words...how could they be true? The team would lose nothing if he disappeared.

"A foolish human perspective. You shouldn't trust me."

Fox gave him a look, his ears going flat.

"I don't. Nobody does. It's not a bad thing. We count on you and those like you to keep us on our toes."

Ganon's orange eyebrows pulled together with worry.

"This credit is not due. Please, allow me to escort you to the medic. I fear my power has grown too strong."

"Is it so hard to accept that someone may actually like you..?"

He said this quietly, nudging his muzzle under the wizard's chin. Ganon responded quickly, grabbing Fox's entire head with both hands and sliding their mouths together. McCloud gave a pitched whine as the king's tongue traced his canines.

As quickly as the moment came, it passed. Ganon held onto the front of Fox's jacket, keeping close enough to kiss again. For a few heartbeats, they simply stared at each other.

"I have much to think about," Ganondorf murmured, stroking the agent's head with his large hand. He seemed more than a little dazed.

Fox's smile was sly as it could get.

"Perhaps you do have a bit of a spell over those you touch. But there's nothing wrong with working your magic to influence others..."

He brushed his tail over the king's legs, and then circled back to rub his face on his bicep. Ganon let out a gruff laugh, humored by his playfulness and coy choice of words. Fox knew that if Ganon ever conceded to pursue him, he was in for a lot of fun. He loved to tease and taunt. Luckily for him, poking the sleeping bear was the only way to gain its attention. It was only a matter of time.


End file.
